Tuesday, October 26, 2010

34 Years Old + 51 Days

Sometimes, when I find myself feeling extreme stress, I suddenly remember a smell. It is a pleasant, lovely, homely smell of my bed when I was younger when the sheets are freshly changed. I can remember myself jumping in the bed, into brown bed sheets I think they were, and feeling the instant warmth and snugness that came with a newly made bed. It is like the way that you'd remember the smell of homemade bread. A smell that activates a memory. But as I said, it is a level of stress that activates the smell for me, and then the memory, of, corny as it sounds a "more innocent time". A self defence mechanism kicks in and carries me away.

Today was a tough day. All to do with wrapping up the business. Stuff that I expected would be easy is alot harder. Like Wolverine when hes trapped, the claws have come out. I had planned to do some other work too today but I find myself trapped in a moment and thinking about the same things over and over again and the only way I can escape them is by playing a computer game or something like it, that is designed to let you escape from the real world.

But the game must finish, so when it does, I head to bed. Again that memory, the smell. Maybe when I close my eyes I will be ten again, in my warm snug bed...

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