What do I want?

Wow 4 words.

What do I want? I was listening to a motivational video today on youtube. One of the things that the totally positive voice asked was what I wanted.

"What do you want?" he said. And then I realized I do not know. What exactly do I want? My god. I actually do not know. Sure I want the rest of the things that everyone else wants. I want to be better looking, fitter, I want my kids to be healthy, my wife to be healthy and all of them to be happy. I want food on the table. I want to do well in my job. I want a better car. I want all my friends and family to be happy and healthy.

But then yeah. Of course I do! What am I going to want? A worse car? My friends to be less happy and healthy... of course not. So it is one of those things that I realize I simply say. But am I going to be happy with all this? I can only control the world so much and I can only control the fate of my friends and family so much. So the real question is... what do I want?

And then... Why am I not chasing what I want? Why am I not dreaming of what I want?

What am I going to do about all this? Where is my hard work? Where can I fail at so that I can learn from that thing? But this is the first step... I have realized this. I am standing still.

I am moving again.